Twat at front of queue deciding what to order

A TWAT who has reached the front of the queue after 25 minutes has finally started to decide what he wants.

Stephen Malley had plenty of time to choose what to order while waiting in line at his local coffee shop but actively passed up the opportunity.

Wayne Hayes, who is waiting behind Malley, said: “There’s only one barista who’s having to prepare complicated seasonal drinks, so he’s had an eternity to make his mind up.

“Does he honestly think this is how other people order? It looks like he’s going through each item individually and working out what to buy through some obscure process of elimination.

“If he asks to look at the allergen folder I might have to take matters into my own hands by sighing or live tweeting my frustration.”

Malley said: “I just enjoy taking in my surroundings while I’m queuing. There’s so much to process, what with the promotional displays and the selection of appetising treats in the pastry cabinet.”