BRITONS are expected to vote in favour of opening a box containing unspeakable evil.
Pandoras box, previously thought to be mythical, was recently found in the vaults of the British Museum along with a note saying ‘For fucks sake, do not open this!’ in ancient Greek.
Uncertainty about whether to open the box has led the government to leave the decision to the public, after brief Yes and No campaigns.
Sales manager Donna Sheridan said: The so-called experts say the box is full of evil, but in my experience boxes are usually full of chocolates or shoes.
I say open it, because these experts are probably just after lucrative research grants like they got for making up global warming and polar bears.
Plumber Roy Hobbs said: Apparently we shouldnt open the box because it contains war, famine and pestilence. If you ask me, its just the health-and-safety brigade trying to wrap us up in cotton wool as usual.
The fact is, you dont know if you like something till you try it. I didnt think Id like golf, but now I play every weekend. Its probably the same with pestilence, whatever that is.
A government spokesman said Pandoras Box would be opened by David Cameron during an extended edition of The National Lottery Live featuring The Saturdays.