SECTARIAN rioting in Northern Ireland is still far too much fun for all concerned, it was claimed last night.
Experts said there would be no end to the violent clashes without new measures that will take the enjoyment out of throwing petrol bombs at a stranger.
Julian Cook, professor of riot management at Roehampton University, said: “Perhaps we need to develop a new type of petrol that is particularly explosive so that it would be impossible to light a petrol bomb without it taking your head off.
“I believe they did try something similar in the 1980s but it only took off hands and arms and so you just wound up with someone in a balaclava laughing hysterically at their own bloody stump.
“Also, when the riot starts maybe the police should just go on holiday as only the most determined rioters will keep throwing lumps of breeze block at a wall.
“But of course the police will only go on holiday if it includes at least two days of firing tear gas at people. Perhaps we could send them all to Greece for a fortnight?”
He added: “I still favour a huge fleet of blimps blasting out Coldplay and Chris de Burgh until only the deaf remain outdoors.”
There is now growing pressure on the Northern Ireland Assembly to make sectarian violence seem less like a hair-raising ride at the Walt Disney World of Hatred.
But in a historic joint statement, Sinn Fein and the DUP said: “Why on earth would we do that?”
