Unemployment falls as IDS opens pie shop

A FALL in unemployment may be connected to Iain Duncan Smith’s new pie shop in central London.

The shop sells extremely tasty pies at very low prices while also offering free haircuts to the unemployed.

Motorcycle courier Nikki Hollis said: “Most pie shops offer a range of fillings, rather than just ‘Meat’.

“And the process of slow-cooking them over a pyre of half-completed Jobseeker’s Allowance forms seems unnecessary, though delicious.”

Duncan Smith said his Fleet Street-based business observed the highest standards of food hygiene, the raw materials being given a ‘very long shower’ before mincing.

He added: “Yes, there were isolated incidents of remote controls being found in pies, but that’s been rectified by a more powerful grinder.”