BRITAIN’S hard-working cannabis dealers are to be allowed to sell in eighths and quarter-pounds again as a Brexit benefit.
Weed cultivators and sellers forced to operate using metric weights since the early 2000s have applauded the Tories’ return to good old-fashioned common sense.
Steve Malley of Leatherhead explained: “Our punters don’t come to us for three point five grams of herbal cannabis. They come to us for a good old fashioned eighth.
“They want that old feeling of freedom, of picking up a solid quarter-ounce to smoke with their student mates like they used to, even though they’re now in their 40s and have it in their £3,700 summerhouse.
“Thankfully common sense has prevailed. I only feel bad my uncle couldn’t see it. He was locked up as one of the metric martyrs back in 2002.
“They said it was for cannabis importation, human trafficking and manslaughter, but that was just an excuse. It was the metric thing. And now he’s finally vindicated.
Cocaine dealer Julian Cook said: “Anyone tries to stop me importing in kilos and selling in grams, I’ll f**king shoot them. I’m not joking. I’ve got the gun here.”