WHITE guys are to be taken to the pub this weekend and told they are good at things too.
After a week in which white guy egos have sunk to a new low, friends have rallied round and agree it is time for a few pints, some cheering up and perhaps even a curry.
Roy Hobbs, a white guy accountant from Peterborough, said: "I'm sure they're very nice chaps and they're obviously very good at what they do, but do they have to win everything?
"I mean it's bad enough, but then there's that other thing, you know? The, err… 'special attribute'."
He added: "What sort of chance does that give us? At least before we would win things and run things, but it was okay because they always had, you know… 'it'.
"It was like their incredibly large and satisfying trump card."
But psychotherapist Dr Emma Bradford said: "Come on now, I'm sure you're good at lots of things. Let's think. Mmmmmm… I know, what about golf? That's a white guy thing. Oh, right.
"Hang on, I've got one – I bet you're really good at watching television. What else? Oh, I don't know… gardening?"
She added: "And don't worry about the 'special attribute'. Women are much more interested in sensitivity and a really good sense of humour rather than power and money and an enormous… oh my."