A 29-YEAR-OLD woman is desperate to meet a suitable man then dump him because of a small detail in his looks or mannerisms.
Nikki Hollis is trawling dating sites for a nice man who shares her sense of humour but whose boyfriend status is ultimately doomed by her absurd levels of perfectionism.
She said: “I’m not getting any younger, and I’m looking for a soulmate who I can turn down because he has slightly narrow nostrils, hairy fingers or one ear a bit smaller than the other.
“Like my last boyfriend, he will be pretty much ideal in all other respects, but just have that one little thing which for some reason I absolutely cannot live with, like ‘stumpy teeth’.
“Then I will meet with my friends in a wine bar and we will all laugh uproariously about it and make up a name for him like ‘Mr Stumpy Teeth’.
“They will all share similar stories, and we will get drunk while enjoying how witty, glamorous and capricious we are, like characters in a glossy US telly drama called something like ‘Lady Lawyers’, except we work for a printer cartridge company.
“Then I will go home to a flat that is empty except for a cat, some furniture and a big print of Audrey Hepburn.”