Column of light is beacon for alien invaders

THE London art installation commemorating the First World War is being used as a beacon by an approaching alien armada.

The huge fleet of Tandu battlecruisers had confused our solar system with the uninhabited Tau Ceti, but is back on course thanks to the spectacular pillar of light.

Insectoid commander Thxx-1i8 said: “We are mostly interested in you humans as a food source.

“However, we are merciful so a lucky few will be taken to the slave ships or the breeding pods.

“This galactic satnav is hopeless, so thanks for turning on the big light. We’ll be with you by the weekend.”

Londoner Helen Archer said: “That single shaft of brilliant light is like a message to the heavens that whatever happens we will endure.

“Gives you real hope for the human race.”