LOOKING to earn extra cash? These side-hustles will take up all of your spare time and earn you a negligible amount of money.
Design your own T-shirts
People will wear T-shirts with any old crap on them, which is lucky for you as you’re unimaginative and have no artistic skills. Once you’ve forked out for the T-shirts, printing materials and distribution costs, you can just put your feet up and watch the interest on your eye-watering business loan steadily accumulate.
Projected annual earning: Minus £8,000
Start a podcast
Podcasts are a great way to monetise tediously nerdy conversations that used to be confined to the pub. Got strong opinions about Star Trek Generations? There’s a hungry audience of half a dozen geeks out there who will listen to the first five minutes before finding something more interesting to do, which won’t be difficult.
Projected annual earning: Minus £249 for a fancy microphone.
Self-publish an e-book
Everyone has a book inside them, but in your case that’s exactly where it should stay. If you have to type out your boring thoughts, don’t expect them to be optioned by a film company and turned into a blockbuster franchise. Even if that happens everyone will ridicule your literary achievement, just like the Fifty Shades of Grey series.
Projected annual earning: Potentially millions but realistically zilch.
Create a YouTube channel
You can either create your own carefully edited videos and build an audience over the course of years, or you can simply upload and monetise hilarious clips of Bob Mortimer on Would I Lie To You? The latter might not be honest work, but it will turn you more of a steady profit than anything your brain could think of.
Projected annual earning: 35p and a copyright infringement notice
Do online surveys
Once you’ve done the legwork of finding reputable survey sites and getting scammed by shady ones, you’ll be able to tick boxes online while getting paid less than minimum wage. You could have used this time to learn skills that would land you a great job, and now you’ve got nothing to show for it except RSI.
Projected annual earning: Not even worth calculating