Maverick office worker who doesn’t play by the rules immediately fired

AN office worker who gets results by never going by the book and using his own unorthodox methods has been dismissed on his first day.

New employee Tom Logan, 33, began his first day at Barton Insurance Services by leaving his car parked in a haphazard way outside the main entrance, causing a major obstruction.

Logan – who spent a long period of unemployment watching The Professionals on ITV 4 – then began flirting with a female receptionist in a way that breached HR guidelines on sexual harassment.

Line manager Norman Steele said: “From the moment he put his feet up on my desk revealing a pair of cowboy boots it was clear that he would be unlikely to make it till lunchtime.

“He spoke about having a ‘hunch’ and swore that if we gave him 48 hours he’d deliver. I’d only asked if he was familiar with spreadsheets. 

“Also here at Barton Insurance Services we don’t operate on hunches but on reliable data produced by our in-house team of qualified business analysts.

“At this point, he swept a tray of invoices off my desk and stormed out of the office, saying ‘Stuff your rules!’. Naturally I was immediately onto security.

“He was escorted out of the building and pointed in the direction of the impound location where his Ford Capri had been towed.”