THE new Michael Jackson film is the first instalment of an interconnected cinematic universe of celebrity sex offenders, its producers have announced. 

As well as telling the King of Pop’s origin story, Michael launches a multi-movie franchise about rich and famous celebrity wrong ‘uns which is projected to come together for a thrilling crossover finale in 2031.

Film insider Tom Booker said: “Don’t worry if you’re not familiar with all the dusty old source material on these guys. The NCU will tell you everything you need to know.

“Michael eases you in with a straightforward tale about a poor black kid who grows up to be the world’s most famous sex monster. Sit through the end credits and there’s a teaser for the next film in the series, Andrew: Prince of Paedos. 

“That leads into the Woody Allen biopic, then we go back a couple of decades and see the roots of it all with Jimmy Savile, Stuart Hall and Rolf Harris in It Was A Different Time: The 70s Story. 

“Yes, we’ve had to be creative in scriptwriting to tie it all together, but give Michael a magic rhinestone-studded glove and I think audiences will be in their seats cheering as the paedos put their differences aside to battle a galactic threat only they can defeat.”

Cinemagoer Martin Bishop said: “I can’t wait for them to keep churning these movies out long after they’ve stopped being good.”