Armed forces riven with sexism, racism and harassment also very woke

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Newborn in Liverpool shirt fake fan and glory hunter

A TINY baby in a Liverpool top who has barely supported them during the week since his birth has been accused of chasing clout and trophies.

Bandwagon-jumping Ryan Whittaker, who is only six days old, has been asked where he and his bloody rattle were when the club was relegated to the second division in the 1950s.

Liverpool fan and Whittaker’s uncle Stephen Malley said: “Win a few games and here’s this complete nobody turning up on Facebook in his home shirt. Never seen him on the Kop.

“Liverpool is my life. I was born here, raised here, live here, and only briefly leave for away games and Wembley finals. There was no sign of this Ryan during the Hicks-Gillett years when we were all protesting on the streets. F**king plastic.

“Tell you what else, he’s not even Scouse. Born in Chester. How do I know? Because I was there in the hospital car park when they brought him out under a blanket so no-one would recognise him. He should support his local club.”

Father Kevin Whittaker said: “I thought it would be a sweet picture, but it’s fair, he hasn’t earned the right to call himself a Liverpool fan and it’s an insult to the faithful.

“So since he’s a glory hunter anyway we’re raising him to support Man City. They actually win shit.”