Monday, 3rd August 2020

Boris Johnson leading the nation by f**king terrible example

THE prime minister is leading the nation by setting a f**king terrible example showing them what not to do, Downing Street has claimed. 

A spokesman said Boris Johnson is providing a valuable public service by demonstrating what happens when you ignore social distancing and act as if it is all a big joke that will not affect you personally.

He continued: “What Boris has done, by selflessly contracting the coronavirus and passing it on to the second most important minister in government right now, oh and the chief medical officer, is show that nobody is immune from this thing.

“And because he’s been so candid, he’s really taught the nation what to avoid, like shaking hands with coronavirus patients and then shaking hands with everyone else. Like a dick.

“Across the country total idiots, who are often among Boris’s strongest supporters, will hopefully think ‘Oh, perhaps I shouldn’t deliberately be an arsehole about this after all. Look what happened to Boris.'”

Nathan Muir of Stoke-on-Trent said: “If Boris is getting coronavirus, so am I. Because we’re both proper lads who don’t give a shit.”