Friday, 5th June 2020

Brexit Party now just a weird retired couple and a golliwog

THE Brexit Party’s dismal election results have reduced it to a retired couple from Cornwall and their golliwog, ‘Mr Golly’.

With no seats and Nigel Farage likely to lose interest, Joan and Roy Hobbs and their offensive stuffed toy are all that remains of the electoral force set to change British politics.

Joan Hobbs said: “We didn’t do very well, did we? Mr Golly is terribly upset. Let’s all have a nice cup of tea. That will put things right.

“Despite today’s setback we’re not giving up the fight. My husband Roy is going to lead the party, I’ll be deputy and Mr Golly will become our new party treasurer. 

“Boris may have won, but the Brexit Party still has lots to offer. I’ve got some very interesting ideas about making foreigners wear coloured hats so the immigration authorities can spot them easily.

“We’ll probably have a meeting with Boris in Downing Street. I can tell you one thing for sure, he’d better not get on the wrong side of Mr Golly.”

Mr Golly refused to comment, preferring to sit silently on a sideboard full of Princess Diana commemorative plates.