Friday, 30th October 2020

Corbyn to reflect on what 'p*ss off you beardy Red twat' could possibly mean

JEREMY Corbyn has announced that he and Labour are in a ‘process of reflection’ on what voters mean by telling him to ‘p*ss off’. 

The Labour leader has confirmed he will not lead the party into another election but he will continue to guide them while they work out what ‘we’d rather have that lying fat pr*ck than you’ is actually saying.

Corbyn said: “I’ve always said how important it is to listen to ordinary voters. It’s just that ‘Shove your 70s bullsh*t up your a*se sideways’ isn’t easily understood.

“So, for the next few months, we’ll be unpacking statements like ‘we hate you’, ‘this is all your fault’ and the short, pithy ‘get f**ked’ and trying to make sense of them.

“I will also, during this process of reflection, ensure that my hard-left colleagues tighten their stranglehold on the party and decide my replacement because who better? The Blairites? No thank you.

“I still think ‘Go and die, Obi Wan F**knuts’ could well mean ‘your manifesto is hugely popular and you’re the man for us’. If given the correct Marxist reading.”