DESPITE the UK’s natural unwillingness to help the unfortunate, Burnham’s plan to end rough sleeping has won support because they are rather scruffy. 

Britons have agreed that much as they are against kindness on principle, if it makes their town centres tidier they will allow it because it is in a good cause.

Susan Traherne of Exeter said: “While this comes from a place of liberal compassion I despise, their tents are very unsightly. Also their dogs.

“And I think it’s a lovely idea to get them off the streets for Christmas, because that’s when I go into the city for drinks and the cathedral market and they really clutter the place up making it look unpleasantly Dickensian.

“It’s a shame they have to be given emergency accommodation when there are cheaper and permanent solutions but politics is about compromise. If they’re gone that’s the main thing. Good on Burnham.”

The prime minister said: “Do stuff Tories like but pretend it’s out of the goodness of your heart. It got Blair three terms.”