I’m a successful man in his 50s who recently married his girlfriend, but only because work made me.
I got involved with her because she met my deep emotional need to boff anything female. My wife and I had been having difficulties already because I’m always doing that kind of thing.
But, due to an unusual condition of my employment, I have now had to marry the girlfriend or get fired.
It’s fine, she’s quite young and blonde, but all her dolphin-hugging mates are a bit off-putting, she blows tens of thousands on bullshit and she’s suggested we go vegan three days a week. I just wanted to get my hole.
Usually I end relationships by amicably not returning their calls and shagging someone else, but again, work makes this impossible. Any advice?
Alex of London
Donna replies: I admit I’m confused. As a rule it’s best to admit to errors at work rather than get married. I’m not even sure how that can happen.
And the way you describe your new bride gives me cause for concern. It’s almost as if you only see other people in terms of how they benefit you.
Anyway, you mentioned that you’re terrible at your job and the pay is shit, so it sounds like it’s best all round if you simply leave. That should solve everyone’s problems.