Give me the power of a god, says Starmer

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We ask you: which is more implausible, the Tory manifesto or the Green Party manifesto?

BOTH the Conservative and Green Party manifestos are packed with impossible promises from unelectable parties. But which is the more preposterous?  

Norman Steele, mechanic: “I actually completely believe the Conservatives will give away £17 billion. I could even name the donors they’d give it to.”

Sue Traherne, electrical engineer: “The Greens want a two per cent wealth tax on all funds over £1 billion? And they think the ordinary British man in the street will stand for that?”

Hannah Tomlinson, tattooist: “At least the Greens have no track record of fucking up, apart from that last few years in Scotland when everything they touched died.”

Roy Hobbs, cannabis farmer: “The Tories are promising to burn the world, while the Greens are promising to save it. Come on. That last ain’t never gonna happen.”

Joanna Kramer, accountant: “Is the Green one printed on paper? Game over, hypocrites.”