DESPITE apparently not existing, the magic money tree is set to cut UK energy bills by hundreds of pounds, it has emerged.
The sudden yield of £10 billion has come as a surprise to many because it was thought the fictional tree had been harvested to exhaustion due to the furlough scheme.
Magic money tree proprietor Rishi Sunak said: “As I went to bed last night I looked out the window and noticed there was barely a penny to be seen on its stunted, withered branches. It gave me nightmares.
“So imagine my delight when I woke up this morning and saw that its boughs were weighed down with a hefty crop of ten, 20, even 50 pound notes. I immediately ran out in my pyjamas to gather them in my picking basket.
“Now I can knock hundreds of pounds off winter energy bills, scrap that terrible £200 loan idea everyone hated, and salvage my tarnished public image. Everyone’s a winner.”
Sceptic Wayne Hayes said: “It’s not the existence of the magic money tree I have trouble believing. It’s the idea that this isn’t a distraction from the Sue Gray report which is clearly total bullshit.”
