Pensioners to hate Starmer regardless

BRITAIN’S pensioners have announced that they will continue to loathe Starmer even though he has bent to their whim.

The prime minister’s decision to ease cuts to winter fuel payments has done nothing to dim the burning contempt for him held by the nation’s senior citizens, who plan to carry on despising him in spite of the U-turn.

Pensioner Margaret Gerving said: “It’s a nice gesture, but I’m too committed at this point. Even if he bought back national service tomorrow and gave everyone over 65 a superyacht, I’d still detest him.

“If I struggle to remember the names of my grandchildren, there’s no way I’m going to remember that I don’t have to hate Starmer anymore. Us geriatrics will cling onto a grudge for as many years as we’ve got left, so he’s f**ked it.”

Retiree Bill McKay said: “Any rational person would be grateful that Starmer has listened to our grievances and course corrected. But you must remember we’re not rational people. We’re pensioners.

“Restoring our £300 payments has made me more furious than when he scrapped them. I’d grown fond of the idea of shivering away in abject poverty this coming winter and Starmer’s cruelly taken that away from me.

“It’s not too late for him to change his mind again and make this entire situation even worse.”

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