Cameron's son old enough for 'the tax chat'

DAVID Cameron’s son Arthur is grown-up enough for a fatherly chat about offshore holdings, it has emerged.

The prime minister took his son aside and explained what happens when a man and woman love each other very much and decide to move their funds overseas.

Cameron said: “He’s only 10, and ideally I wanted to leave it a few years but they grow up so fast these days, especially with all the stuff on the internet about ‘shell companies’ in Panama.

“The main things is that he understands that all this stuff is healthy and natural, not weird or embarrassing. “

Dressed in River Island jeans and a blue untucked shirt, Cameron sat down with his son on a tree stump at the bottom of the garden, just like his father did all those years ago.

He said: “You’re nearly a man now, and soon you’ll start to experience complicated feelings towards money.”

However the prime minister skirted around the explicit details of how the money ends up in the right places, preferred to stick with a vague metaphor of trains going into tunnels.

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Woman who greets Northerners by saying ‘Ay oop!’ thinks they like it

A WOMAN believes her pretend Yorkshire accent amuses her Northern workmates, it has emerged.

Janet Fisher, from Kent, believes that as well as being funny, phrases such as ‘Bah goom, me old dooks’ and ‘Ta, chook,’ make Northerners feel at home.

Fisher said: “When they first arrive at the firm, the Northerners always look a bit shy and awkward, but as soon as I have approached them and said, ‘Ee ‘eck! Coopa t’brew, luv!’ you can see them becoming more relaxed.”

Fisher said she was confident talking to Northerners in this manner made them smile and feel “included”, except for those who have a chip on their shoulder.

She added: “I actually have an uncle from Peterborough, so I am part northerner myself, and totally get their quirky sense of humour. Reet t’grand, lard!”

Colleage Roy Hobbs, from Leeds, said: “I haven’t the faintest idea why she persists with it. Both my parents are solicitors and I went to Harrow.”