Friday, 5th June 2020

Jo Swinson belting out ‘That’s Life’ while holding wine bottle like a microphone

FORMER Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson has been ‘belting out’ That’s Life while standing on her sofa.

After losing her seat, Swinson made a dignified speech before heading home and ripping open a freshly delivered case from Aldi Wine.

According to eyewitnesses, Swinson ‘tanked’ a bottle of Pinot Grigio and was halfway through the second one when she grabbed it and began an ‘aggressively flamboyant’ rendition of the Frank Sinatra standard.

Swinson said: “I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. I’ve been up and down and over and out and I know one thing. Each time I find myself flat on my face I pick myself up and get back in the race.”

It is understood Swinson will send at least two dozen horribly ill-judged text messages before crashing out, waking up with a hangover the size of Canada and then getting a job which is much better than the one she had.