THERESA May has promised to give a full and clear explanation of her Brexit plan in the form of a modern dance routine.
The prime minister has created a dance piece in which she uses expressive movement to illustrate issues such as access to the single market.
May said: “I begin by leaping across the stage in a white spandex catsuit to show whether I favour a ‘hard’ Brexit or something more akin to the Norwegian model.
“Then I run around the stage in a fey manner before dropping to the floor and curling up in a ball to symbolise the government’s position on EU fisheries policy.
“I feel the dance will clear up any outstanding questions about Brexit. It should all be perfectly clear to anyone with a basic grasp of EU law and avant-garde choreography.
“The routine continues with me approaching the audience and clawing wildly at the air like a demented cat to clarify our stance on financial passporting rights.
“I’d hoped Philip Hammond would join me on stage to dance some economic growth forecasts, but he was frustratingly reluctant to get into his leotard.”