TELLING children Jeremy Corbyn is real can cause serious trust issues when they eventually find out he doesn’t exist, it has been claimed.
It had long been believed that Corbyn, a kindly white-bearded man who gives children free toys for no reason, was a harmless childhood myth.
However Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Eventually they’ll have to find out that he isn’t real, and then what are you going to tell them? That it was all a lie to give them some false hope in a cold and unfeeling universe?
“They’ll start asking whether Nigel Farage is real too and you’ll have to tell them yes, he actually is.
“You can still give them a new bike on the 25th of December if you like. You shouldn’t wrap it up for them though as that’s kind of a lie too.”
Seven-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “Corbyn, or Corba as he’s sometimes called, lives at the North Pole. Lots of elves help him in his toy warehouse but in a strictly non-hierarchical situation where any profits are channelled back into reindeer food.”