Tories to build thousands of affordable second homes

THE government is to build 200,000 second houses to help homeowners onto the buy-to-let ladder.

Minsters have vowed to end the housing crisis which has deprived millions of a respectable second income.

A spokesman said: “Why should students be waking up in their childhood bedrooms when, with a little help from the government, they could be living in a new house bought by their parents and serving as the capricious, cold-eyed landlord to their friends?

“We need to shift from generation rent to generation rental portfolio.

“Britons will no longer be deprived of a bolthole in the country, and thousands will once again be able to earn £500 every weekend by putting their London flat through Airbnb.”

Emma Bradford, 29, said: “We’ve just gotten married and would like to start exploiting other people like us.

“Our dream is to be able to say ‘you can’t have your deposit back because there’s biscuit crumbs behind the sofa’ with a you’ve-hurt-our-feelings facial expression.”