Couple has f**king website for wedding

A COUPLE’S forthcoming wedding has a whole f**king website devoted to it.

34-year-old Nikki Hollis and her fiancé Martin Bishop sent out invites directing guests to ‘’ which features detailed information about how great they are.

Invitee Stephen Malley said: “It’s like a proper website that they’ve made, or paid someone to make for them. Jesus.”

The site’s home page features a big picture of the couple and various sections including one called ‘Our Story’.

Malley said: “It’s a whole long thing about how they met and fell in love, written in a sweet but wryly amusing manner.

“Clearly nobody is interested in that. Oh hang, on here’s a picture of Nikki in her bikini.

“That’s a bit more like it.”

Nikki Hollis said: “This website isn’t just about us, it’s about love. Although it is mainly about us.”

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Liverpool fans demand to know why potential new manager hasn’t turned things around yet

LIVERPOOL fans are demanding the dismissal of the man who has yet to be confirmed as the club’s new manager.

Possible replacement manager Jurgen Klopp has failed to make Liverpool the most feared club in football despite being widely tipped to start working there soon.

Season ticket holder Norman Steele said: “I’m a patient man but Klopp should have restored us to the pinnacle of European football by now.

“You have to question his commitment, especially as he has not yet signed any paperwork.”

Stephen Malley said: “How much longer are we going to give Klopp? He’s done literally nothing so far. 

“I’m going to set up a Klopp Out Facebook group.”