SUPPORTERS of proportional representation insist they would win the upcoming referendum on vote reform if it used proportional representation.
As the latest poll showed the ‘yes’ vote trailing by 16 points, the Yes to AV campaign said the only reason they were going to lose is because the May 5th vote is being held under the ‘archaic and unfair’ first-past-the-post system where the winner is judged to be the candidate who wins.
A spokesman said: “If the PR referendum used PR we would automatically pick up the second choice votes of everyone who voted ‘no’.
“Meanwhile because the ‘no’ campaign would be in first place they would not get allocated any second choice votes and so we would win when we add in the second choice votes of all the people who didn’t vote for us.
“The ancient Greeks had a special word for it. They called it ‘democracy’.”
Meanwhile David Cameron has stepped up his opposition to PR by stressing it could lead to handsome, decisive men having to share power with bald, self-regarding old frauds and whimpering cry-babies.
He added: “I just have this feeling that it would be a disaster.”
The prime minister was joined by Dr Lord Reid, the former Labour MP for Glasgow Toilet, who said that while the first-past-the-post system guaranteed people like him a job for life it was okay because he was fantastic.
Julian Cook, professor of playing politics at Reading University, said: “Voters would probably have been willing to believe that the Yes to AV campaign was based on a firmly held principle if it hadn’t been led by politicians.
“I honestly can’t think of a more avoidable fuck-up.”