Queen urged to f**k up his hair at the very least

THE Queen has been told that if she is to meet Donald Trump, the least she can do is mess up his hair.

With the president due to visit in July, the British public and even other royals feel the Queen should wait until he is kneeling then go in for a ruffle.

A palace source said: “Harry and Wills have been studying pictures and they reckon if she can get a hand under she can dislodge the whole hairplate.

“It’s rock-hard so he can’t comb it back into place like normal hair, and he’ll have to do the full set of official photos with his hair hanging off to one side like the lid of a wheelie bin.

“Then we’ll usher him straight outside and see what the wind can do. Hopefully it’ll flap about and hit him in the face a few times, or it might come loose entirely and fly off like a frisbee.”

Queen Elizabeth II said: “I’m up for it. It’ll be hilarious seeing the big orange twat with his syrup all messed up. That will be well wicked.”