NAZI fancy dress? Yes. Teenage dabbling in booze and drugs? Yes. Being ginger? Yes. Let’s face it, Prince William’s best man speech has pretty much written itself. Here are some extracts.
On Harry being ginger…
“Not only was Harry the second-born, and therefore shitter, prince, he was also ginger. This gave me an excellent excuse to rib him about who his real dad is, given that the only other gingers in the family are our mental aunt Fergie and granny’s corgies.”
On underage drinking…
“Even though we had access to the finest wines known to humanity, Harry liked to get the bus to Cirencester to smoke wacky baccy and drink Frosty Jack’s with the local plebs. I don’t think that’s what people mean when they say it’s good to have the ‘common touch’.”
On punching out a tabloid photographer…
“An unfortunate incident from Harry’s phase of going to tacky nightclubs with people from Made In Chelsea. If you hang out with pissed-up young toffs it’s bound to end in trouble – but that’s enough about me going for a drink with Harry last night!”
On dressing up as a Nazi and calling an army colleague a ‘raghead’…
“Many people construed these events as racist, but poor old Harry was just having some japes and was misunderstood, in much the way our grandfather Prince Philip has been for the last 96 years.”
