EUROVISION winner Lulu has admitted to an affair with the chameleon of pop, David Bowie. These get-togethers were equally far-fetched: 

Madonna and Vanilla Ice, 1991-1992

At this point Madonna could have anyone and didn’t stint herself. So why, for two years, after his career had peaked with the release of his seminal cinematic masterpiece Cool As Ice, did she bother with this novelty act?

Chris Evans and Geri Halliwell, 1999

Their sheer ginger magnetism pulled them together, saw them each sell their stories to rival newspapers after a week-long romance, and then sent them flying apart. As criminal psychologists wisely advise, there can only be one egotistical megalomanic in a relationship. Bad news for Geri’s current marriage.

Mel C and Anthony Kiedis, 1998

A year before, the Red Hot Chilli Pepper and the Spice Girl hooked up and told nobody. They couldn’t have the world working out that despite their different images, they both produced soulless party jams for ten-year-olds to jump about to while riding a sugar buzz.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Elizabeth Hurley, 2024-ongoing

Two one-hit wonders – Achy Breaky Heart and safety-pin Versace dress – unite to give Miley Cyrus a stepmother who is age-appropriate but always has her tits out so kind of a mixed bag.

Lulu and David Bowie, early 1970s

Tiny Scottish shouty woman and languid, pale, drug-addicted bisexual alien? Anything could happen in the 1970s. Across town Jeremy Corbyn was in bed with Diane Abbott. Bowie’s bisexuality is beginning to seem suspect, though. We’re not hearing about his f**kbuddy years with David Essex.

Mick Jagger, Jack Nicholson, Ryan O’Neal and the prime minister of Canada’s wife, late 70s

Not all at once. Canadians were shocked when Pierre Trudeau married a student 29 years younger, then comforted when she banged her way around Studio 54. Any one of those three could be Justin Trudeau’s father.

Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, 2025

Appears to have been nipped in the bud by the world’s press, but it’s hard to find someone who understands what it’s like to one day have the world love you and the next be indifferent to your existence. They discussed a threesome with Jacinda Ardern.