THE Conservatives have asked the people of North Shropshire to specify which horrendous f**k-up made them vote for the Lib Dems.
Conservative candidate Neil Shastri-Hurst, who lost the safe seat for the first time in nearly 200 years, has been attempting to achieve closure by asking voters which of his party’s many catastrophic errors put them off.
He said: “It’s the not knowing which makes this defeat even harder to endure. Was it Owen Paterson’s lobbying that left you cold? Or was it how we tried to block his immediate suspension and change the policing of MP’s standards?
“Perhaps it was how we partied during last year’s Christmas lockdown while you couldn’t visit your dying relatives one last time that made you turn your back on us. I feel like I’m grasping at straws with that one though so please, just tell me.
“I suppose there’s an outside chance our blatant xenophobia, hostility towards migrants and inherent corruption might have repulsed you, although those things don’t appear to have been an issue in the past.
“If you could get back to me, even a text would do, then I can make empty promises about how we can change.”
North Shropshire resident Wayne Hayes said: “I thought it would be obvious. I don’t like Boris, but I don’t like Starmer even more.”