KEMI Badenoch will stop the jobless buying cigarettes, alcohol or gambling with their benefits. What would you snatch out of their grubby hands?
Margaret Gerving, retired headteacher: “I would ban them from eating cakes, or at least cakes with enough sugar and fat content to taste pleasant. They’re allowed iced fingers or Cuthbert the Caterpillar.”
Norman Steele, arcade supervisor: “If you have no income and want to masturbate, you should be forced to monetise it. Do it for our amusement online or not at all.”
Donna Sheridan, bird trapper: “It seems short-sighted stopping them gambling. A lot of these people are close to that one big win that will get them off benefits forever.”
Helen Archer, lens grinder: “Banning cigarettes but not vaping. Wow. The Tories really are out of touch with the long-term benefits claimant on the Midlands sink estate.”
Mary Fisher, art auctioneer: “I see these benefits people on the latest iPhone, toting Birkin bags, driving their Rolls-Royces. So I would ban them from buying iPhones, Birkin bags and Rolls-Royces.”
