THE prime minister is on holiday, but has unsportingly refused to reveal where to avoid class-based judgements. Where do you believe the coward has run off to?
Roy Hobbs, HGV driver: “Where any true Brit goes: Prestatyn Pontin’s in 1978, under rain-lashed skies. That’s where Nigel Farage is, and he’s just won the Knobbly Knees contest.”
Lauren Hewitt, turflayer: “His wife’s French, so it seems likely he’s gone to France. Making him a double ponce.”
Tom Logan, tyre-puller: “Wherever it is, he’ll do Monday to Thursday there then he’ll spend Friday in its North.”
Margaret Gerving, retired influencer: “Obviously he’s on a round-Britain bus tour, or why would he have reduced fares by 33 per cent immediately prior? Think, sheeple.”
Helen Archer, osteopath: “Remember when Boris Johnson was apparently banging Carrie next to a baby in a two-person tent on a Scottish cliff? God, he could lie.”
Olly O’Connor, secret shopper: “We should be allowed a celebrity prime minister for two weeks while he’s gone. I nominate Lorraine.”
