THE UK has sworn to the EU it will definitely take this chance to sort itself out before doing a shitload of nationalism in the bogs.
After begging for one last opportunity to be the rational, serious country it knows it can be, the UK won a three-week extension and celebrated by fucking itself up on patriotism hard.
Britain said: “This time I mean it, I promise. I’ll just do one more bowl of single-handedly winning World War 2 and then I’m on the straight and narrow.
“I admit I’ve gone kind of crazy on the old Union Jacks recently, but it’s been a tough time. I won’t go into it. Just… stressful stuff.
“And I can’t flush all these red, white and blue lines away, they cost me loads. I’ll just get high on them one last time, then I’ll be properly ready.”
Britain then did a large amount of patriotic nonsense before adding: “Fuck, I am out of it! Isambard Kingdom Brunel! We invented the internet, bitches! Bobby Moore! Stand on our own two feet! TAKE BACK CONTROL!”
Germany said: “We all know what the UK is doing in there. It is pitiful. I only hope it doesn’t hit rock bottom, like me that time I don’t like to talk about.”
