WHEN I’m in my trailer between takes on Cruella or Last Christmas, I settle my nerves and concentrate my mind by painting a Chaos Lord in Terminator Armour Space Marine. Here’s how I focus myself.
Source your materials
It’s crucial to begin with the right materials. So visit the nearest store for models, paints, brushes, glue, flocking and base sprays unless you want your towering transhuman defender of the Imperium to look like a half-baked piece of shit. Christian Bale uses Humbrol and his Necrons are a disaster.
Pick a Chapter
There’s more than one flavour of Space Marine, and with chapters from the Adamatine Lions to the Wolfspear, don’t rush this. Choose what’s right for you. You might like the look of the Blood Angels or the Void Daggers, but don’t forget that the colour scheme you choose affects gameplay. I was filming Sense and Sensibility when I settled on the obsidian hue of the Iron Fists, and their badass chapter gives my artillery better daemon engine support.
Apply an undercoat
Boring but it’s got to be done. Skip this and the colours will look dull and crap. You can apply by hand if you’re a fucking mouth breather like Richard Curtis but a spray can gets it over and done with in the time it takes to have a fag. We kept losing the light in Love Actually while he added another coat to his Ordo Reductor.
Layer the colours
Work from dark to light and paint your whole squad in one go rather than individually, otherwise you’ll be doing it for twatting months, and we’re not all filming Avatar sequels like fucking Winslet. Try not to let the tip of your brush leave the model or it’ll streak. And for Christ’s sake sand your sprues down. This isn’t backstage at Pontypool Dramatic Society.
Don’t forget to drybrush
The toughest skill to master. Knighthood or not, Ken never did. Load your brush, wipe off the excess, lightly run over the armour. The raised area will catch the paint and look fucking boss. Then you just need to slide on some transfers, flock the base and you’re ready for battle in a dystopian future. Oh, I should mention I’ve got a film out.
