HANNAH Tomlinson, known to her coven as 28-year-old Isolde Hexebane, wonders if Tom Logan, aged 28, is The One whose sacrifice her dark masters crave?
Hannah on Tom
First impression?
Strong of limb, The Tribute hast fed well like the ox and is possessed of a beating heart as Orachon, Lord of the Howling Deep, demands. Also, he smelt nice.
How was conversation?
He listened politely while I explained the Seven Stages of Flaying. He then paused and said he’s a Capricorn. Points for effort.
Favourite thing about Tom?
His neck. Really sturdy. We won’t need Helen’s mum’s tray to balance that bad boy on the altar slab.
Memorable moments?
The Moonmarked laughed nervously after I asked if he’d ‘mind being bound in ivy at dawn’. Such a sweet, mortal laugh. He asked if this was ‘like, BDSM shit’.
A capsule description?
A civil servant in the Department for Transport. ‘A fool who carries the power of the King’.
Was there a spark?
No, but there will be once we’ve gathered kindling.
What happened afterwards?
I did what any daughter of doom would and messaged the girls to check if this truly is our glittering coil. We have a WhatsApp group called ‘The Coven’ because it is one.
What would you change about the evening?
When the waiter glared at me for making a pentagram with the cutlery.
Will you see each other again?
Yes, but not when The Radiant She rules the sky. At solstice. When the moon is fat and his cries echo through the moors to be heard by Khalruum, Warden of the Black Maw, who hungers still. So about 11.40pm, depending on the night bus timetable.
Tom on Hannah
First impression?
I liked her hot Gothy dress sense. I didn’t know they were turning fake skulls into clutch bags now. It looked realistic.
How was conversation?
I was slightly surprised when she asked if I’m a virgin. She looked crestfallen when I said no.
Favourite thing about Hannah?
She’s passionate about the environment. She talked a lot about how we all need to make sacrifices to protect the crops and ensure a bountiful harvest. I agreed, of course. I’ve just bought a reusable cup.
Memorable moments?
I cut my thumb on the steak knife and, instead of handing me her napkin, she accidentally held her wine glass up to catch it. How silly!
A capsule description?
Hot glasses intellectual. She’s in this fancy book club where they’ve just read The Codex of Beelzebub, by Dan Brown I think.
Was there a spark?
Yes, but only because she insisted that the waiter place candles around us in a circle.
What happened afterwards?
She invited me to go look at the stars. Did you know it’s only three days until the full moon? She must have an app that tells her, or it’s menstrual maths.
What would you change about the evening?
I wish she’d talked less about this ‘Threxian the Destroyer Who Must Be Appeased or All Shall Suffer His Wrath’. Always bad form when someone brings up their toxic ex.
Will you see each other again?
She asked if I’d like to meet her girlfriends and be ‘stripped and devoured’ by them. I guess old Tom’s finally in for a foursome.
