SOME football shirts indicate that you’re a twat from a mile off. If you’re a fan of one of these clubs know that you’re judged by everyone:
Get the obvious one out of the way first. West Ham supporters are the worst kind of people to have in your life, your league or your train carriage. At least Millwall have the good grace to stay in a lower division and the excuse of always being shit to explain their thuggery.
A fantasy football team with an unlimited budget playing in a league that can’t compete, supporting this team means supporting a seven-year-old’s conception of what the game should be. Even worse now they’ve added Messi on a free, which is basically cheating.
Definitely the more repellent half of the Old Firm rivalry, perhaps because they’ve no Pope of Rome to provide spiritual guidance. In a movie going into administration and rising back up the ranks would be a journey that made the team and their fans better people. In real life? No.
What, you thought a diagnosis of clinical twattishness was reserved for rowdy, working-class clubs? Nope. Fulham fans all live in six-bed townhouses in Chelsea and gather in overpriced London pubs to drink Aperol Spritzes before the match. Piss off to rugby.
Obviously. Used to be preening, entitled wankers who won everything and now win bugger all but don’t appear to have noticed. Every teenager boy and his pit bull became Man U fans in the 90s and 00s and still make the day-trip to see them from their homes in Hertfordshire, Surrey and Devon.
One we can all agree on, Spurs supporters really are the crème de la crème of twat – and most of their own fans would heartily agree. The only club to have hired Mourinho entirely for his loathsome spirit-destroying qualities, which they recognised as their own.