ENGLISH men are not as good at playing football as English women, it has been confirmed.
As the England women reached the World Cup semi-finals – a feat not achieved by their male counterparts for 25 years – English men must now defer to ladies on anything to do with football.
Fan Martin Bishop said: “I’ve spent my whole life deriding women’s football, but it is now an undeniable fact that they are better at it than we. I suppose I feel cheated.”
He added: “Now, before I tweet an opinion about the latest transfer news for example, I have to run it past my wife and daughter first.
“So far they have been dismissive and rather mean.”
FA Chairman Greg Dyke said: “For English teams, competing in major tournaments is all about trying to wipe out years of ‘hurt’.
“As our best national side right now, the Lionesses must shoulder the burden of the men’s 49 years of hurt, as well as their own 24 years of hurt.
“That’s a grand total of 73 years of hurt which will be instantly eradicated if they actually win this thing.