Everything fine at Arsenal now

EVERYTHING is wonderful at Arsenal and nothing whatsoever needs to change, fans have confirmed.

Arsenal’s FA Cup victory at the weekend confirmed the widespread belief that everything at the club is going in the right direction and that Arsene Wenger is definitely the correct choice as manager.

Gunners fan Wayne Hayes said: “The past twelve months have been great, and at absolutely no point was I preparing to march on the training ground with a pitchfork.

“We’ve won a trophy, which makes us better than Spurs, and without the Champions League to distract us, we’re a sure bet for the title next year.”

Season-ticket holder Susan Traherne said: “When I hired a plane to fly over the Emirates trailing a banner that said ‘Arsene out’, I may have inadvertently given the impression that I wanted him to leave.

“But it was actually supposed to say ‘Arsene outstanding’.”

Hayes added that he and his fellow Gooners would be one hundred percent behind their club until the next time an Arsenal player gave away a throw-in, when they would resume their campaign of furious booing.