THE owners of Manchester United are to pay down their debts by making Rio Ferdinand do a fan dance for some Chinese opium lords.
In a bid to reduce their Â£1bn borrowings the Glazer family is to organise a series of Â£100,000 a head banquets in the south of France where the club’s household names will entertain some of Beijng’s most powerful fiends and their criminal henchmen.
Sources insist the Glazers want to make full use of their existing assets and will force Ryan Giggs and Owen Hargreaves to go around the table giving head massages and shoulder rubs, while veteran midfielder Paul Scholes will finish his career as a large plate of sausages.
It is understood Ferdinand’s performance will be the highlight of the evening and the central defender and England international is expected to dance in the middle of the table for up to three hours at a time.
A source said: “We’re thinking either Turkish style – silky bra and pants with a veil and some little cymbals on his fingers – or have him in the buff with just of couple of paper fans to cover his unmentionables, And a blonde wig obviously.
“If it works then we can take it on tour. Moscow, South America, Thailand – perhaps even a private show for Kim Jong Il. Rio ‘s up for it. He says he likes to try new things.”
The source added: “At the end of his performance he can then relax with the guests, though at that point he would be under no obligation to do anything he doesn’t want to.
â€œBut I’m told that if you’re sufficiently deferential they can be very gentlemanly.”