CELEBRATIONS marking the departure of Rafael Benitez have been
spotted by astronauts on board the International Space Station.
Crew members said the Liverpool street parties appeared as a spot of brightly-coloured euphoria as the city took on the appearance of a giant smiley face.
Fan Charlie Reeves said: “The birth of my daughter, my wedding, committing my first ever burglary are all now reduced to ‘mere occurrences’.
“And all it took was Â£3m. Those three little millions will spread so much happiness that Children in Need will seem like a Swedish film about a kitten that dies in a funeral parlour.”
Benitez’s reign as Liverpool manager ended as it began, with the club languishing in the league and the Spaniard riding around on a camel telling everybody he was the King of Narnia.
His personality quirks, such as insisting the groundsman refer to him as ‘Mr Cheeks’ and spending every Thursday leaping into the air to try and grab the sun, had been tolerated by the board as they realised no real football manager would want to live in Liverpool.
The search is now on for Benitez’s replacement, but club director Christian Purslow admitted it would be difficult to find somebody with the same determination, ambition and collection of Action Man figures dressed up as members of Genesis.
Fan Wayne Hayes said he planned to celebrate all day, adding: “Don’t tell anyone I’ve been sprinting down Church Street with my mate on my shoulders, will you?
“I’ll be getting drunk for the foreseeable future and I’m going to need all the incapacity benefit I can get my thieving little hands on.”