FANS have asked for the ownership battle over Liverpool FC to be staged at Anfield in place of the actual football.
Supporters say Tom Hicks and George Gillett’s last-ditch defence of their business interests has called to mind the halcyon days of Djimi TraorÃ© and Phil Babb in its comic desperation.
Meanwhile the arrival of Boston tycoon John W Henry as someone with a proven track record of success who will ultimately turn out to be worse than useless will be an echo of the day when fans would would watch Fernando Morientes piss their hard-stolen money up a wall.
Kop End regular Wayne Hayes said: “It’s good that scousers might actually get something positive from a courtroom instead of a sobbing half-drunk mother promising to look after her son’s Rottweiler.”
The ongoing saga of who gets to own the world’s most expensive probation office looks set for an initial six-week run, with Willy Russell setting the story to a series of lachrymose show tunes and the parts of Hicks and Gillett being played by Elaine Page and Barbara Dickson.
Hayes added: “Rather than watching Gerrard hurtling around the pitch like an ADHD child topped up with Sunny Delight and crack, we’ll have a delightful afternoon of theatre in the round.
“If that’s not too fancy a term for 45,000 sweaty sacks of whining nylon swearing at some foreigners.”
Coach Roy Hodgson said: “A bit of theatre would be nice wouldn’t it? Of course there was no telly when I first started managing football teams. All we had was the theatre and the newspapers. And the radio. I liked the radio.
“Here, they should do that song from Singin’ in the Rain. It’s the one where it’s raining and he’s singing. You know the one I mean.”