Most Britons think Mo Farah is a character in Game of Thrones

INTEREST in sport has plummeted to the point that most people believe Mo Farah is a central character in a TV show that includes dragons.

Sport England has now slashed funding to a number of key sports because no-one cares about any of it and the Olympics were a waste of time.

Wayne Hayes, from Peterborough, said: “Were the Olympics supposed to make me ‘sporty’? If they had bothered to ask me I could have told them that was a colossal error of judgement.

“I vaguely remember wearing a hat, drinking a lot of cava and taking off my underpants in other people’s gardens.”

According to Sport England, Britain’s Olympic heroes have simply been absorbed into the nation’s ‘cultural stew’ with many believing that Sir Chris Hoy was the Evil Chairman of the Royal Bank of Scotland and that Jessica Ennis was ‘yet another Eurovision embarrassment’.

Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, added: “Mofarah is the Lord of Gargaflaq. In season two he devours the heart of Brondle, the Orange Lady of the North.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

ISA changes delight tedious bastards

DULL people are over the moon about the new ‘super ISA’ savings scheme.

People who like genealogy, cricket and alluding to the fact that they have money have been tormenting friends and neighbours with conversations about tax-free savings.

49-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “My next door neighbour, who I think is called Martin or Rob, came over ostensibly to borrow my strimmer, then said ‘What about the ISAs then, eh?’

“Suddenly he was off on one. Every minute became an hour, every hour a week.

“I hate him.”

Following repeated complaints, the Financial Services Authority have offered to victimise  anyone mentioning the increasing flexibility to invest in shares.

A spokesman said: “In they end they always slip up. One day they pick on a Lloyds Name with a £100 million, strictly blue-chip share portfolio, and end up looking utterly, utterly pathetic.”