INTEREST in sport has plummeted to the point that most people believe Mo Farah is a central character in a TV show that includes dragons.
Sport England has now slashed funding to a number of key sports because no-one cares about any of it and the Olympics were a waste of time.
Wayne Hayes, from Peterborough, said: “Were the Olympics supposed to make me ‘sporty’? If they had bothered to ask me I could have told them that was a colossal error of judgement.
“I vaguely remember wearing a hat, drinking a lot of cava and taking off my underpants in other people’s gardens.”
According to Sport England, Britain’s Olympic heroes have simply been absorbed into the nation’s ‘cultural stew’ with many believing that Sir Chris Hoy was the Evil Chairman of the Royal Bank of Scotland and that Jessica Ennis was ‘yet another Eurovision embarrassment’.
Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, added: “Mofarah is the Lord of Gargaflaq. In season two he devours the heart of Brondle, the Orange Lady of the North.”