THE chairman of the premier league last night accused China of stealing great British recipes like egg foo yung and Szechuan chicken.
Sir Dave Richards insisted eggs were first mixed with foo and yung in Sheffield more than 1,500 years ago and then a ‘Chinaman hypnotised everybody and made off with the pot’.
He said: “And 70 years ago my Uncle Eric invented spaghetti, went to bed and woke up the next morning to find he had been kidnapped by Mussolini.”
Richards then stepped on a roller skate and went hurtling through a jam factory before crashing head-first into a wasps’ nest.
After washing off the jam and changing his clothes, he continued: “I haven’t been that angry since Germany stole my idea for a motorised car.
“That’s what they do the Germans, they steal your idea for something nice, like a Morris Marina or a Hillman Imp, and they turn it into a Mercedes Benz.”
Richards then stepped on a rake, spun round, walked into a lamppost, stumbled on to a tea trolley which then rolled down a hill, through a barn full of noisy chickens and finally came to a stop when his head became embedded in the rear end of a horse.
He added: “Pele’s from Huddersfield.”