QPR MANAGER Harry Redknapp has offered Manchester United a three-minute trolley-dash to take as many players as they want for Wayne Rooney.
Redknapp also signalled there could be further inducements on the deal including a gas-fired barbecue, tickets to see Diversity on tour, and a loyalty card so that every nine players bought gives a tenth player free.
Redknapp, who asked reporters to call him Crazy Harry and the club his Wacky World of Soccer Savings, said: “Clint Hill, Adel Taarabt, Yun Suk-Young, if you can get them in the trolley you’re taking them with you. And it’s a big trolley.
Weve got defenders, weve got attackers, weve got those blokes in the middle who honestly I cant remember what they do, weve got foreign lads from every country youve heard of and a few you havent.
“Come on David, fill your trolley and fill your boots.
Wayne Rooney responded to the offer by letting his big, soulful blue eyes slowly fill with tears before blinking and asking the cameraman if he got that or if he should go again.
The striker said: If only people knew how sensitive I am. I mean, Ive got a Stereophonics tattoo and I only sleep with prostitutes if Colleens not around or not up for it.
By implying I am a mortal man David Moyes has insulted me, and I am angry and confused and confused and angry and hungry and aroused.”