Unstable friend now somehow a counsellor

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    A WOMAN with a chaotic personal life and a history of believing in total nonsense is now being paid to give people advice, shocked friends have revealed.

    Nikki Hollis earns a healthy income from counselling people, despite having done countless idiotic things in her own life such as repeatedly dating clearly awful men and joining a religious cult.

    Friend Tom Logan said: “Somehow she did a counselling course while she was unemployed for the umpteenth time.

    “It’s only a couple of years ago that she was living with a cult who thought Jesus was coming in a UFO.

    “I hope she’s not giving relationship advice because her typical boyfriend is some sleazy married bloke twice her age, or a local weed dealer with 14 kids.”

    Hollis said: “I’m the ideal counsellor because I’ve been through a lot in my own life, not to mention my extensive knowledge of tarot, past-life regression and moon magick.

    “Just today I was able to draw on my own experiences and advise a depressed woman to give up her job and become a street juggler in Rome.

    “I get a real buzz out of helping clients like Peter who’s unable to perform sexually. He just needs to listen to his heart and have an affair with his cousin.”