Environment

THINGS the size of a brick shithouse have been spotted roaming a Bradford housing estate.

AFFLUENT professionals could be forced to use town centre fried chicken outlets as over-population makes Waitrose-style food increasingly scarce.

OIL giant BP has been accused of manipulating an image of a Gulf of Mexico pelican to show the bird giving the 'thumbs-up'.

TORY fears of a brutal fox insurgency are growing  after one of them was spotted trying to ride a horse.

THE ruptured oil pipe in the Gulf of Mexico has been capped just minutes before everyone realised it had all been their fault.

SUPERFLUOUS wildlife is still hampering vital progress in the logging and fast food industries, it was claimed last night.

AFTER five days of disciplined self-control Britain finally gave in last night and blamed the Met Office for volcanoes.

GLOBAL warming is probably being caused by ghosts, climate scientists claimed last night.

BEAVERS are to be renamed 'riverdogs' after zoologists finally conceded defeat to the overwhelming forces of sexual innuendo.

THE government's latest green motoring campaign is urging drivers to switch off their engines and get wedged under a massive lorry.