The wife is suffering terribly from a yeast infection so the physical side of our marriage has ground to a halt. I’d heard natural yoghurt could be the answer, so I waited until my wife went out then took a pot of Onken into the bedroom, but the experience was a letdown. What now?
If your wife was in my class, you wouldn’t be wallowing in self pity like you seem to be just now because you’d be far too busy making a mockery of aforementioned affliction. At school, it only takes a big pair of specs and a crap coat from M&S to make you a laughing stock. Anything which makes you look, smell or sound funny is up for grabs, and so you might want to spend some time thinking of a suitable nickname for your wife: may I suggest something subtle yet cutting, like ‘fusty flaps’ or ‘scadge vag’. Make sure you shout it at her at least fifteen times a day so the name sticks, reinforcing your verbal campaign with a post-it note or two on her back and maybe even carve it into some of her property. And never forget the opportunities afforded by Facebook and Twitter: once you gather momentum you might want to consider going cyber, and let everyone in the world know your wife’s got an itchy moo-moo.
Hope that helps,