Most days I sit around in grubby boxers watching Heir Hunters

Dear Holly,

I quit my job recently and am starting to regret it . Most days I sit around in a pair of grubby boxers watching Heir Hunters and eating multipacks of Wotsits. I know many would be jealous of my carefree lifestyle, but I can’t help feeling a little bit bored, especially when listening to my own interior monologue. My wife says I should take up Zumba but I’m not sure it’ll help. What can I do to make my life worth living again?

David Beckham


holly2111111Dear David,

Sounds like you’ve got school summer holiday syndrome: you spend weeks of term time planning all sorts of jolly Swallows and Amazons-style adventures where you and some chums and a Jack Russell discover hidden treasure…but what you actually do is sit with the curtains drawn watching endless episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants whilst eating pick ‘n’ mix. By week three you suspect you’re developing rickets, so you go and hang about outside Pound-stretcher in town in a hoodie waiting for something to happen. If you’re lucky, someone will discover the waterlogged corpse of a rabbit down at the old quarry and you’ll spend hours looking at it and poking it with a stick. After that you feel like some of your original plans have been realised and so you go back to Spongebob Squarepants feeling somewhat satisfied.

Hope that helps!