Saturday, 4th April 2020

The social media ars*hole's guide to being right


DETERMINED to win every argument even when you’re clearly wrong? Follow the example of the worst ars*holes on social media: 

Quote dubious research
Don’t just assume you’re outgunned when you find yourself debating economics with a famous economics professor. You can still come out on top by quoting the ill-informed ramblings of some oddball’s blog and mocking your opponent for not having read it.

Don’t concede valid points
Recognising the value of what your opponent is saying is for losers and centrists. Winners steamroll over any and all interlocutors and paint their attempts to be reasonable as lunatic fringe madness.

Ignore facts
It’s hard to be wrong when you pick and choose which facts are true or false depending on your beliefs. By turning a blind eye to a vast body of peer-reviewed research you can still claim that the Earth is flat or that the conclusion of Game of Thrones was brilliant.

Rally a lynch mob
If all else fails gather together some like-minded knuckleheads and intimidate whoever disagrees with you into submission. You’ll still be wrong of course, but at least now nobody will bother to engage with you.

Be the last man standing
Does the person you’re arguing with, 144 tweets into the thread, tire of saying the same thing again and again and abandon the argument? That counts as a win. Add a few mocking, dismissive comments then move on triumphant to the next sucker.